Indonesia
Re-Marry; Why Not?
Nobody wants their marriage apart. But, destiny can speak other. A marriage can be broken by separation, divorce or death. Some people choose to be single, some other choose to make new relationship. Before deciding to re-marry, the most important thing to consider is how to introduce the SO to kids.
When another person comes close to the family, the kids may have special feeling. Some kids may feel very vulnerable and insecure, even when the parents have good intentions. The kids may feel jealous when their parent being close with other person. Instead of parent-kid time, it feels like the kids are being dragged along on a perpetual date (the kids are a third wheel).
So, it is important for the parent to talk with kids about the SO. Talk in an age-appropriate way to explain the relationship. To introduce the SO, we must choose a convenient time. If the kids have recently gone through a stressful event, wait until they calm down and recover. We may arrange a family-style date that incorporates a family-friendly activity, such as a trip to the beach.
Then, we should watch the kids’ reaction closely – especially if the kids are sensitive. If the kids feel okay, we may introduce the SO more closely and more frequently. If the kids become upset, we should give them space to adjust to the situation. Parent should acknowledge the kids’ worries and concerns.
It may take awhile for the kids to become completely comfortable with the SO, so take things slowly and follow the kids’ lead. Kids often feel split loyalties between a new parent figure and a biological parent. This is made worse when the biological parent is angry. Well, we must wait awhile.
TEGUH WAHYU UTOMO
PHOTOS: THINKSTOCK
