Indonesia
How to Help Superkids Make Friends
Maria Sinaga strictly forbids her son Adrian to play with Denny, a classmate who lives just a stone fall away from their house. Maria doesn’t really like Denny, whom in her eyes always act like boss, gives order around and hardcore. “Ardian is the victim. He orders him around like his own servant,” Maria grumbling to her other neighbor. While for Ardian, he doesn’t have a problem with Denny. They get along just fine both at home and at school, despite minor clashes over some toys.
In social intercourses, kids learn how to share, make compromises and solve their problems. Sometimes it’s hard for us as parents to stand and watch it, Supermom. Our protecting instinct always wants to take over whenever we see our kid in less advantaging position. Actually it’s that kind of overreaction like what Maria is showing that escalates the problem. So, what can we do to help Superkids understand the social interaction?
1. Teach Empathy
Parents are the role model for kids. Superkids will definitely take example from how we connect to others. For starter, allow them grow the empathy. Take Superkids collecting old decent suits to give away for those who need it. Or deliver some meal to a sick neighbor. Empathy will make the kids likeable.
2. Let It Go Their Way
Don’t make Superkids engage in social interaction our way, or what we think is right. Some kids feel comfortable with just two or three others indoor. On the other hand, a lot of them like to play together outside. “I’m worrying if Helena might turn up awkward socially because she doesn’t go for afternoon ride with her friends around the complex. But she never likes joining in group cycling like that. It’s noisy,” the mother of three Nenda Huda reasons about her first daughter.
3. Invite Them Home
Make the house a castle for Superkids to play with friends. Allow them to invite friends home. Have some snacks and fun games like face painting, trading, making cakes, lego, watching movies or anything they like. Make them comfortable playing. By opening our door for them, our kids will be more likeable among their friends. Plus, we get a chance to know them one by one.
4. Let Them Choose Their Friends
Give liberty for superkids to play with children from different background. Kids will understand the different among cultures and habits of different families. But we can also forbid, if it turn out to be potentially harmful.
5. Watch for Teasing and Bullying
Teasing is common among kids. But it can escalate and eventually grow a self negative sentiment. Teasing and bullying is very hard to tell apart. Help Superkids understand that not only punch can hurt. Words and how to treat others can be as much painful as well. That way, children will watch what they say or do, and not letting others to treat them bad. Avoid questions like “Did anyone at school do something bad to you today?” Such question will make the kids focus on negative things around him. If our kids is a victim, we should bring the issue to the parents of the kid with issue.
HAFIDA INDRAWATI
PHOTOS: THINKSTOCK PHOTOS
